One day in 1970 two men chatted around a cup of tea
and cake in a farmhouse in the Dalton area and history was made. Almost 39 years
later, the story remains one of the most precious ones in my treasure chest. The two men
were my father, Mandlakayise Sibisi, and a farmer, Mr Heino Stegen (henceforth, Onkel
Heino)
The younger generation and those outside of South Africa may
notappreciate the significance of what happened that day.
Interestingly, not only were my parents and, amongst others. the
Stegens and the Joostens contemporaries; they actually grew up in the same area, but
theirs were two different worlds. In that racially conservative farming community
interaction between Whites and Blacks was almost purely on master-servant basis.
Let me give you some historical background to our family.
My mother's people, the Jilas of Ekhamanzi, worked on the family
farm of Johan Scheuer. Till today, my grandmother and the family live on the
same tenant farm that is owned by the Scheuers.
At one stage in her young days Mum worked for Onkel Heino's uncle
and aunt, Friedrich (The Zulus called him 'Nkokhokho') and Mathilde Stegen (the
grandparents of Dorothy Newlands on the mother's side).
Our branch of the Sibisis from Emthizane worked on the
family farm of Gert Maritz. In order to minimise the risk af biting their tongues the
Zulus simplified 'Gert Maritz' to 'Haladisi' and called the farm 'KwaHaladisi.
It was a major move in 1953 when my grandfather, Gakanye Sibisi,
relocated his family to Chibini, an area under the Ngcobo amakhosi (chiefs). I laugh when
I am told that even after leaving KwaHaladisi when the car drove past the farm Granddad, a
poet that he was, would break out in song, in praise of the Maritzes.
Only heaven will reveal the full impact of the spiritual
breakthrough, the outpouring of revival fires in the ministry of Onkel Heino's missionary
brother, Rev Erlo Stegen, at Maphumulo in 1966.
Amongst others, the fire caught on in Onkel Heino's heart. He
acquired a passion for souls which added a new dimension in the way he related to his
workers, the Black community and his neighbours.
God's ways of working amongst the children of men are too
amazing. Dad's older sister Ntomb'nkulu Nhlabathi and her family worked for Onkel Heino.
With his new passion he reached out to his workers, took them to services by teams from
the revival and God worked in His mighty power. My aunt was an 'isangoma' (diviner),
possessed by the spirit of her forefathers 'idlozi' and two kinds of other spirits. When
she surrendered and gave her life to the Lord she was prayed for and the chains of the
powers of darkness were broken. She became a radiant witness for Christ.
It is not without reason that I refer to the period between the
latter part of 1969 and the early part of 1970 as the darkest night in the history
of our family. Dad's business had gone under, our parents' marriage was surfing on
rocky shores and alcohol had ruined Dad's health. My parents were frustrated because after
following advice on how they could appease the ancestral spirits and bring good luck into
the family nothing positive had come out of that. In fact, the cost of the ceremonies and
sacrifices to the dead sank them deeper into debt. So, there lay Dad, bankrupt,
disillusioned and dying. It was dark, very dark, but light was on its way.
Looking back to a particular weekend in early 1970 I believe that
God just took over in our family. Our cousin Buyisile Nhlabathi who worked in the Stegen
house came over to Chibini to visit us. The pitiful sight of her uncle saddened her.
In her heart she was convinced that it was high time that Dad be introduced to the
Saviour. She asked if she could send for Onkel Heino. Dad agreed.
Onkel Heino's challenge to Dad that Friday was simple and to the
point, "Mr Sibisi, you've tried everything else; won't you give Jesus a chance?"
Dad asked for some time to think the matter over and promised that he would have the
answer by Monday. Onkel Heino was prepared to drive back for the answer but Dad said he
would travel to Fawn Leas by bus, and Onkel Heino would fetch him from there.
If the Lord had not taken over already, how did Dad, a dying man
who for days could not keep any food in his stomach find the strength to rise from his
bed, walk to the bus-stop and endure the 40-60 minute ride by bus?
If local farmers and farm-workers had been around
the Stegen house that Monday I wonder who would have been more surprised to see Onkel
Heino walk through the front door of his house with a tall black man. Whose eyes would
have gone wider if they had seen Mrs Stegen (henceforth, Tante Alida) bring tea and cake
for the two men?
Tante Alida's maiden name was Klipp, and the Klipps were some of the richest
farmers in the area. In fact, Dad's uncle, Limaphi Sibisi, and his family worked for the
Klipps. So, to put it crudely, that Monday, many would not have gotten over the idea of a
Klipp 'princess' serving a 'servant.'
The Lord blessed Tante Alida's tea and cake; not only did it
settle in Dad's stomach but he returned home with a big appetite. From then on he could
eat; that was part of his miraculous healing.
Dad's submission to the Lord that day was not a superficial
affair; he never looked back again. He ran the race to the very end.
Onkel Heino walked the walk with Dad and the rest of us as we
individually took the decision to follow the Lord. He took time to counsel and
disciple us.
Looking back, I marvel at the spiritual maturity that the Lord
granted Dad. He became a vessel in the Lord's hand, serving as part of the leadership of
the local congregation. As a family we got a loving and exceptionally responsible father
who laid strong foundations for the family.
As a family we cannot forget how Onkel Heino went out of his way
to help Dad get back to business in order to provide for the family. The Lord blessed the
new initiative and prospered Dad in an amazing way.
Two men chatting around a cup of tea and cake was the beginning of
a wonderful lifetime journey together.
Back then in 1970, who would have thought that one
day the children of the two men would address each other's parents respectfully in isiZulu
as 'Baba' and 'Mama?'
Who would have thought that one day some of
the children of the two men would labour shoulder-to-shoulder in the Lord's
vineyard?
Who would have thought that some of the grandchildren of the two
men would grow up together and attend the same school?
In passing, let me highlight the fact that the developments I have
just referred to started unfolding well before the advent of the new South Africa.
My motivation for making special mention of Tante Alida's tea and
cake is because I know that what she did that day in the quiet of her home was not a
publicity stunt or political point-scoring. Her genuine act flowed out of
her love for the Great Shepherd and His sheep, those who are near and those who are
far.
From my numerous visits to the Stegens I took note of the fact
that even with daughters, daughters-in-law and granddaughters around Tante Alida's
personal touch crowned their hospitality.
Tante Alida's loving. quiet support to Onkel Heino is a
blessing to see. Together, they have travelled far and wide with the Good News. Their
'off road' travels were not for fun or adventure but they were in search of the Master's
sheep.
During a recent visit by Onkel Heino and Tante Alida
I realised again how much I love and treasure this senior couple which joined the
octogenarians' club recently.
As I see them and our other spiritual parents getting
on in years, I have a kind of 'justified selfishness.' Let their age increase but please,
put the ageing process on hold.
We need them; for us, for our children and for our grandchildren.
Have a blessed week.
- Pressing on!
In His love
Fano Sibisi
