Ngiyabonga - 13 February 2008

When I woke up on Saturday I took one look at my computer and my heart overflowed with gratitude.

In the history of my struggle with Motor Neuron Disease since 2000 critical times came up when a need for new costly equipment arose. At such times I found myself wrestling with serious questions. Must so much money be spent on me? How much and for how long will I use this equipment?

In 2003 it became clear that my first ventilator, the Breas PV 102, was not coping with my worsening situation. The recommendation was that we upgrade to the Breas PV 403.

Before my illness I was using my ten fingers to operate the computer. As MND continued with its destructive work one finger after the other gave in. Eventually I had to rely on just one finger, the pointing finger on the right hand. After some time however, we had to face the new reality that my last possibility to utilise the computer was dwindling - fast. Since by then my voice had long been gone that would have meant almost zero communication with my family and my support team, not to mention my friends in South Africa and other countries. That was in 2005.

A team of friends gave themselves the task of searching for technical alternatives for a person in my position. Thankfully, they came upon an American invention, Quick Glance, a system that would enable me to navigate the computer with my eyes. Going through the specifications, we realised that in addition to the expensive system we had to buy a new more powerful computer.

In 2006 I had to be rushed to Entabeni Hospital because the Breas PV 403 was malfunctioning and thereby putting my already fragile life into the danger zone. Again, it was time for a more advanced ventilator. Our best choice was the elegant LTV 1000. The price tag was just as elegant too.

Each and every time that these needs arose KwaSizabantu and my friends stepped forward and footed the bill. How dare I take such generosity and graciousness for granted? I may be repeating myself but I do want KwaSizabantu and my friends to know how deeply grateful I am for coming through for me the way they did, and still do. Behind them, I see the good hand of my Lord.

Talking about my Lord's good hand, I believe that the timing of my illness and the recent relevant technological advances from which I have benefited was not a coincidence. Not so long ago, the interventions which, humanly speaking, have helped to prolong and enhance the quality of my life would have been the stuff of which dreams are made.

In one of my latest poems 'Isinamuva' (which I have attached for those who understand isiZulu) I tried to give Radio Khwezi listeners a glimpse into my battle with MND. In it I also pay tribute to the vital role played by technological products in my fight.

Specifically on my computer and Quick Glance. In spite of the uninvited physical limitations that accompany my illness I marvel at the amount of messages that I have been privileged to exchange with my family and friends. By God's grace, I believe that the investment into the costly equipment was well worth it.

Ngiyabonga kakhulu. Thank you very much.

"Then I told them of the hand of my God which was good upon me" (Nehemiah 2:18)