50-Mhlefile - 31 July 2007

As you know by now, I have a soft spot for my mother's people, the Jilas of Ekhamanzi. I owe a lot of my happy childhood memories to them. Last month I was visited by my grandmother together with some of the aunts and a cousin. It was so special. Now in her mid 90s, Gran's mind is still very clear.  

For some reason, on my 50th birthday on 15 June I was reminded of one of the well-known men of Ekhamanzi, Mr Mhlefile Zondi. Mhlefile - what a name! It means 'He is good when he is dead.' That sounds pretty rough but there is a some truth in that name. Yes, it would seem that people find something good to say about a person when they are dead.

It is a little amusing to hear people say, maybe for lack of something else, "Ubezilungele umntanomuntu, ubengakwazi nokubulala impukane yodwa le." I doubt that the World Health Organisation would be impressed by someone who is so kind-hearted that they cannot even kill a fly.

Another isiZulu saying that is related to 'Mhlefile' is "Umuntu ubongwa esefile" - a person is thanked when they are dead. The fear that if we heap praise on people they  might get puffed up and thus become less effective is not unfounded, but it is saddening to see people addressing a corpse with belated encouraging remarks.

Unfortunately, it has become commonly accepted that often exaggerations and inaccuracies are told at funerals. The worst case I heard of was of a man who arrived a little late at a funeral but insisted that he be given an opportunity to say something about the deceased. He then went on to speak about the wonderful relationship he had at work with the man in the coffin. When he ended his speech he was sheepishly informed that the deceased is not a man, but a woman.

Our primary school principal, Mr Shoro (What a character!), told us that he will not tolerate people telling  lies at his funeral. He said that if they did he would knock on the coffin and ask that the lid be opened. He would then address the minister, "Mfundisi, that person is telling a lie about me. Stop him. Thank you. Close the lid and carry on with the programme."

Talking about funerals, it is distressing to see how in some of our communities new fads are being invented to make funerals more colourful. One to which I relate in a practical way because of my health condition are the heaps of blankets that are brought by different 'stakeholders.' The blankets are supposed  to warm the deceased.  Now, my frail frame is extremely sensitive to cold and the carers have to watch the room temperature carefully. I was delighted that for my birthday some of my family and friends  presented me with blankets and other items to keep me warm. But what good would those warm blankets do me beyond this life? The sooner people accept the age old wisdom that trying warm up a corpse is a futile exercise and a waste of resources, the better.

Contrary to 'Mhlefile,' as I reach the 50-year milestone I look back and my heart overflows with gratitude.

First and foremost, I thank my heavenly Father, my Lord and my God for His love, grace and good hand to me.

Thank God for families. The love and support of my family over the years is precious.

If blood is thicker than water, then the Lord's blood that runs through His children is even thicker. I am humbled by the undying love and loyalty of my spiritual family.

A final thought on 'Mhlefile.' It must be soothing to the hearts of the bereaved to hear good things about the deceased. On the other hand, it occurred to me that after everything has been said and done, God is the Final Speaker at every funeral.  He and what He says matter most.

Blessed are those to whom  the Final Speaker will say,

"Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord." (Matthew 25:21)

Have a blessed week.
 
Pressing on!
 
In His love
 
Fano Sibisi