9 May 2005

My dear friends

The news of Terri Schiavo's death on 31 March 2005 reached me in full force in the Surgical Intensive Care Unit of Entabeni Hospital in Durban. I was surrounded by spurious efforts to save people's lives but a few times cubicle curtains were closed and there was a hush as the dead were wheeled out. The thought that anyone would be deliberately starved to death was unbearable!

Terri's feeding tube was removed and no one was allowed to give her anything to eat or drink. Since 2003  I receive my nourishment in the same way. I depend entirely on others pushing life-sustaining substances into the tube through to the stomach. If they cease, I shall cease too.

Pro-lifers pointed out that Terri was not on a life-support system,  she just needed food like anyone else. What about me? For years now I am connected to the ventilator 24 hours a day.

I took note of the fact that when Pope John Paul ll received a tracheotomy to relieve his breathing problems questions arose in some quarters about the ethics of 'prolonging his life artificially'. Would such people find fault with the fact that in May 2004 after I was resuscitated since my lung had collapsed I landed on the operation table and got fitted with a trachea? So, am I overstaying my welcome on earth?

Bringing the financial aspect into the discussion is indeed very sensitive. Whether in hospital or at home I remain an intensive care patient and upkeep costs are very high. Medical bills are digging deeply into the insurance company's coffers. My family and friends also have many sacrifices to make. Too many maybe? I dare not take all this for granted.

On the other hand, how would I feel if those close to me were considering expediting my exit? In Terri's case her husband, Michael, wanted to put an end to her life. He used the runaway USA judiciary system to fight her parents, Governor Jeb Bush, the Florida legislature, President George Bush and Congress to get his way. In the end he won. Or did he?

A question that was frequently asked was in that state of serious brain damage would Terri have wanted to live or die.  Shall we ever know? But with her husband breathing death over her did she have a choice?

If I was in Terri's situation what would I want? Would I applaud the 'merciful' act of those who starved me to death?

In the five years of living with Motor Neuron Disease I have gone through numerous moments when the situation seemed impossible; times when I asked myself 'Could it be worse than this?' Self-pity and even self-destruction are real temptations then, but I remain unshaken in my belief that God is the Giver of life.  He gives it. He takes it. So, the crux of the matter is not what I, but what He would want.

Do our increasingly secular societies have room for God's perspective on issues affecting earthlings? After all, who understands the creation more than the Creator!

It is my hope that President George Bush's remarks in his reaction to Terri's death will make sense even to the senseless.

"The essence of civilization is that the strong have a duty to protect the weak.  In cases where there are serious doubts and questions, the presumption should be in the favor of life."

My defense of life is not motivated by fear of death. By grace, I belong to the One who conquered death and the grave. He has thankfully prepared a place for me in His heavenly mansions. But why should my entrance into glory leave some people with bloodstains on their hands and consciences?

That would indeed be terri-ble!

"My times are in thy hand" (Psalms 31:15)

And that is the best for me.