My dear friends
Just over a week ago I forwarded to you illustrations for
Sunday 10 October. One of the articles that moved me most was "An Inventory of
Blessings."
The main character in Daniel Defoe's book is Robinson
Crusoe. Crusoe finds himself in a deserted island. The first thing he does is to compile a
list; on the one side he writes down all his problems and on the other side all his
blessings. In the process he discovers that for every negative aspect about his situation
there is something to be thankful for.
I must admit that being confined to one bed in a large
bedroom of a big house in the ever expanding KwaSizabantu Mission sometimes I feel like a
Robinson Crusoe in a deserted island!
When some of my young friends come to visit me they ask with
a puzzled look on their small faces, "Does Uncle Fano have to stay in bed? Can't he
go outside?" Sweet little things, at their age I think I'd find it difficult to work
out that one.
Back in my childhood days, visits to my mother's people, the
Jilas of Ekhamanzi were always a highlight. Even as I write it's as if the aroma of beef
and dumplings is all around me.
Whenever we came there was a routine to follow. We'd walk
past all the huts and cattle-kraal to Granddad and Granny's hut. Almost without fail we'd
find Granddad sitting in his special spot, next to the centre pillar of the hut, reclining
like the Jews on his wooden stool. He'd be facing the men on his left, Granny and the
women to the right side of the hut.
After the greeting and rejoicing, Granddad proudly
announcing that we are children of his very first child, we'd file out to join our cousins
outside. We just couldn't understand how the old people could sit in the hut talking when
the Ekhamanzi river was inviting for fishing and swimming. There were sand dongas for
jumping, aloes for sweet nectar and game to hunt.
Today as I sit here alone I understand why my young friends
feel sorry for me. On the other hand, as I start to list the positive aspects of my
situation they outweigh the negative ones by far.
The Lord blessed me with some measure of a photographic
memory and vivid imagination. Sometimes I have to hide my smile as humorous incidents from
the past flip through my mind. They tell me that Motor Neuron Disease hasn't affected my
mind and I wouldn't like to give them reasons to change their minds!
If I was a painter or cartoonist, a recent remark by Andra
Botha would have given me something to work on. Andra said that even though they as
friends regret the fact that I'm confined in this way, it is as if the Lord has tied me to
my bed and computer so that I might share with others about His dealings with me. Tied to
my bed and computer - What a picture!
Frankly though, despite the snail's pace in typing with my weak fingers I doubt that with
the hectic schedule I was used to before I'd have found time to reflect and write as much
as I have in the last four years.
In the 20-21 years of marriage before my illness I never
doubted Lindiwe's love and loyalty, but in my hour of great need I've discovered anew what
a gem of a woman I married!
As I think of that I'm reminded of an incident that amuses
me whenever it comes to mind. Realising how dependent I'd become my older brother, Moses,
had taken time off the business to help us where he could. During bathing time he took
special notice of the bundle of towels Lindiwe had prepared for that single session. His
curious question was, "Uma lilodwa ithawula ungenze njani?" (What would you do
if you had only one towel?)
For me the bundle of towels represents two things: God's
unfailing love and provision which I've experienced in my MND years like never before and
the love of a dedicated wife who does her utmost to serve her ailing husband.
My family and friends have rallied around me in a way that
sometimes moves me to tears. In my helplessness their support has lifted my spirit and
limbs.
Yes friends, if I could I'd walk away from this 'island' but
as long as I'm in it I'd be blind to miss God's good hand on my life!
A person in my position could easily develop bedsores but
even there the Lord has given us a way out. One day Baba Rev Erlo Stegen came by to
enquire about my comfort. I told him how my body was shrinking. His response warmed my
heart. He said that even if the body does shrink it must still be comfortable.
We've since been able to hire a special air mattress that keeps my body in a wonderful
shape.
Even though I'm limited to one spot in the house there's a
lot of life around me. Radio Khwezi is a wonderful companion. Then there's my wide
collection of good music. For example, my Dutch friend, Frans Gunnink, sent me the whole
set of Johan Sebastian Bach's works.
Hanging on the walls are many photos of memorable events,
family and friends. As I look around I'm reminded to pray for the loved ones.
Flags of different countries capture my imagination as pleasant memories fill my mind.
How long I'm going to be in this room, God knows. In the
meantime let me thank God once again that I'm not limited to one towel but I have bundles
of them at my disposal!
"Yet this I call to mind and therefore
I have hope.
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:21-23)
Have a blessed week!
Pressing on!
In His love
Fano Sibisi
