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Testimony of freedom lusts of the flesh After a life of rebellion, drugs, stealing and adultery I reached a point I could no longer go on. I read the bible while using cannabis. As I approached the truth, I first met the god of cannabis and was so terrified I started crying out in anguish. Then the God of the bible sent His word and pulled me out. That was the beginning of my conversion, now 19 years ago. Since that day I wanted to live a life for Christ, my Saviour. I confessed my sins and restored where possible what I had done wrong. I turned away from my wicked life and sought the Lord. But there was one sin I confessed, only to return to it again, like a dog going back to its vomit. I was a slave to lust of the eyes which resulted often in gratifying the lusts of the flesh. I hated this sin, but at the same time could not part from it. It must have been my pet sin. I comforted myself with the thought that I was honest and willing but that I just was to weak. One day in June this year, I went to a beach with my family, I couldn't keep my eyes from the girls who where teasing the boys with there bodies. When I got home, God spoke to me and pointed at my sin in such away I knew I could never enter in Gods Kingdom with this impurity in my life. I lost all my defense and for the first time realized I had been hooked for all these years. Desperately, my heart again cried out to God. Sometime ago someone had mentioned the website of Setting Captives Free and I decided to try it out. I spoke with my counselor who encouraged me to do it. From the first day in the course, when I read I should seek deliverance, not because I was hurt, but because I had been grieving my Saviour all these years, I broke and wept for days. My Saviour heard my cries and from that first day on, something had changed. My lust was gone and a new longing to walk with Him and to please Him awoke in me. After 19 years I finally began to grasp the truth of the words I had so often heard and some of them I knew by heart:
- "but your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear." (Isaiah 59:2) I had been deceiving myself and God had opened my eyes. I was so used to the words: "having a personal relation with the Lord Jesus", but suddenly I realized I had been missing His company for a long time. My Impurity made a separation between me and Him.
- "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5:17) It is true when the Lord Jesus made me new, everything became new and the old custom of defiling myself was gone.
- "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. (John 8:36) For years I have been trying and yet I couldn't brake free from my impurity, but now Jesus has come and He broke the chains and set this captive free. In the beginning I had a hard time believing it, but after having confessed my unbelief, the light finally broke through. I am free indeed. His name alone be praised (although I'm grateful He used "Setting Captives Free" to attain His goal)
- "But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires. (Romans 13:14) It takes all the effort in me to keep free, but it's no longer my own. It's the Lord's Spirit that dwells in me who gives me the power to turn my head away from all that could provoke lust and make me hate this sin from the bottom of my heart. Every time I feel tempted, I put on the Lord Jesus, I flee to the cross and temptation dims. - "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." (Matthew 5:8) This is my aim and hearts desire, to walk with the Lord constantly and ultimately meet Him one day. In the mean time, I want to serve Him in reaching other people bound in chains, so He can set them free from the trap of pornography.
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